Sexual Bloopers: An Outrageous, Uncensored, Collection of People's Most Embarassing X-rated Fumbles by Michelle Horwitz
It sounds like an erotica title doesn't it? In reality, it's a hilarious collection of true stories from people of all ages and sexual orientations. As the title suggests, these are bloopers. Dates gone wrong. Romantic evenings soured by illness. Prankster pets. Mortified parents. Children walking in on romantic interludes. Embarassing hotel moments. Attempted movie scenes tainted by reality. They are all in this book. Imagine that beach scene in From Here To Eternity with Burt Lancaster, and findow out the reality of that scene from a couple who attempted to recreate it. The stories are truly funny and sort of a "most embarassing moment" of a sexual nature.
I was in the mood for humor today, and the title of this just called to me. I wasn't looking for erotica just something funny to read to pass the boring day away. I think I chewed a hole in my lip from trying not to laugh out loud. I was pleasantly surprised by this book simply because the situations were not only true, but also something I could easily imagine. I admit I still have a few stories left to read, but its been fun so far. Definitely a book for mature audiences though.
This week is step outside my preferred reading genres, and into the realm of hard science fiction. The Beasts of Delphos takes a look inside the societal structure of the planet Delphos and the adventures of the slave boy Barris. Barris works in a mining center and at the start of the book cannot read, write, and really has no complex thoughts beyond the day's work and the pleasures of the night. The crash landing of a freeman's ship brings about many changes for Barris. A terrible beast dwells in the forest and lures sexually mature men and boys to their deaths, but an unmatured Barris, saves the lone survivor of the freeman ship. He earns an apprenticeship and takes Allis as his bondsmen. As an apprentice Barris is taught to read and write and is groomed for work in the machinist's hall where he proves to be clever and innovative, easily one of the best and brightest in the mine. He goes on to slay the beast in the forest, a siren, and catches the attention of the mine's owner, Kellis. Kellis accepts Barris for stud duty and whisks him off to the city to sire sons. But Barris's enlightenment in the city kindles thoughts of rebellion as he learns of the freemans' depravity and corruption, and he takes comfort in the love and care of Allis, his bondmate and lover. Barris's independent thinking leads him down the road of uprising and eventually a tragic end.
The Beasts of Delphos is a subtle book. Those looking for dogfights in space and fast-paced action scenes won't find them with this book. When I first started reading it, I can honestly say I was shocked at the frank depictions of sexual pleasure between boys who seemed barely old enough to be sexually aware. In the context of this book however, their interactions are perfectly natural and almost sweet, sometimes a little too sweet even. The book itself serves as a social commentary about society based loosely on the Greek concept of slavery. The male slaves in this book do gain status and respect. Women are little more than brood mares, serving the sole purpose of producing more men, and most slaves believe that women are unable to think on their own, or even achieve sexual release.
The setting and social structure of Delphos were my favorite aspects of The Beasts of Delphos. Reading how freeman interact and treat their slaves was eye-opening, and while some scenes were perhaps a little too graphic for my tastes, the pure callousness and lack of regard of freeman for their slaves was all too clear. I was cheering when the slaves finally got their due at the end of the book. The characters are engaging and grow throughout the novel, though my favorite character, I'm sad to say, did not survive. The title itself is a play upon what the word "beast," and by the end of the novel I was convinced the beast in the forest was a pussycat compared to the mine's owner Kellis.
While I found this a fascinating look at a societal structure and all in all a good read, I am going to place a warning. This book contains very graphic violence and sex. I thought the sex scenes were very well done, but there were a few spots were I was uncomfortable due to the violent nature of the acts committed. A great read, especially for people who are interested in social castes, psychology, or a glimpse at what greek culture might have been like. In some ways, I was reminded a bit of Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness.
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